It's been years.

So it's been a while since i have been on here but a friend reminded me that i even had this just the other day.
  Where do i even begin to catch you up on my life within the last 5 years. Well ill start in 2011. My junior year in high school was awful the worst time in my life i had just found out that i had endometriosis so i was battling depression and not sure how to admit that i had it. Not only that but i was on birth control that turned me into a raging hormonal beast. One minute i would be happy and the next i would be hulking out ready to destroy the next skank bag that looked at me funny. At the beginning of the year during basketball season a class mate got really aick and had a heart attack or something. Idk really he was a douche canoe to begin with and his recovery made it all the more terrible. But besides the point it kinda hit the school hard. But it also strengthened us athletic wise and we made it to state. I was not an athletic person so i joined a xlass called "contemporary music" which was basically a 75 minute jam session during the school day. I was a singer and my boyfriend at the time was a guitar player. Mind you there were about 15 students in the class and most played guitar so it wasn't that great of an achievement for him. He was rather good at it though. Anyways during the state games we got to go to the cities for free and our band played during the game to cheer on the team. Well it got us quite a bit of attention from reporters for newspapers to webcasts. It was probably the only good thing that came from that year. Oh by the way the canoe of douchery walked while at the state game. Big achievement for him i guess.
  Not long after that shindig the absolute worse thing to hear walking into school was floating around. Rumors and tears flowing. I thought the canoe had died until i realized the people who were crying didn't fit the clique that he belonged too. After i got to my table in the cafeteria i asked one of my friends what happened. What i heard i couldn't believe i refused to believe it was anything but a rumor. When class started our principal came over the intercom adressing the rumor. Saying that our teachers have been informed of the situation and will tell us what they can. I was in English class anxiety high and ready hear that it wasn't true. Im not religious in any way at all but that day i prayed that it was just a rumor. It was not it was confirmed that a murder suicide had happened the night before involving two people i had kknown forever. They had been dating for a couple years and even had a baby together. Classmates of mine dead. Apparently it was easier to shoot her five times in the face than to deal with a fight. Then going and shooting himself. He left their beautiful baby girl without parents stuck between a custody battle between the grand parents. It was the most heart breaking news i had ever heard.
 After the confirmation i went out to the hall to call my mom. There was no way i was sitting in school during this emotional time. She was still asleep when i called and forgot all about me until i called again later that morning. I also called my best friend who was living in Fargo to let her know she was close with him and i didn't want her to hear it from anyone else.
 When my mom arrived they wouldn't let her take me home and told her we were under a lock down and no students could leave. Come to find out some middle school shit beat someone at c.o.d and gave him shit for losing to a kid and the fucker called in a bomb threat.
 All in all it was an eventful day. Later that week we had a vigil and the funerals to go too. At this time it was probably 3 years that i had been with the boyfriend i mentioned in an earlier post. He didn't handle the death of her all that well but didn't know how to express his emotions. They dated before and i don't think he really got over her. But i needed him to be there for me and he just shut down. (That was strike number one) but as the days moved on shop did we. Never have we forgotten but life had to go on. I went to prom and kept virginity that was disappointing. But that was the sum of my junior year.
       Peace beotches